Wednesday, January 19, 2011

WAL-ah-ROOOOSE yourself, Ray!

Let it be hereby stated that the all-important decision of which animal gets the honor of representing the Bilenky name was made by Ray and Ray alone-- without the blessing of those of us who don't have beards and/or can't swim, and therefore feel no kinship with the mighty WAL-ah-ROOOOOSE. 

Here are some other options, presented entirely without bias (not even a little bit.)

What about the humble Lake Baikal Giant Scud, better known as Gammaracanthuskytodermogammarusloricatobaicalensis? See, unlike Leopard Trek, a phonetic pronunciation guide would actually be necessary.
No? Really? Awwwwww.

Kasy suggested one of the junkyard cats, but they are way too snooty to hang out with us. Then he suggested a woodchuck.
Really says "Swift and sleek cyclist," doesn't it? Team  Woodchuck Bilenky!

Bob suggested Steve. 
Go Team Bilenky Bilenky! I mean, BILENKY BILENKY!

My vote goes towards the grubby and underrated possum. 
Hey, they hang out around junkyards, are hairy, and hiss, just like us!                                        

And, like us, they clean up really well...

And know how to party. 

Just sayin'!


Tuesday, January 18, 2011


It’s been an exciting week for Bilenky Cycle Works as we announced our co-title sponsorship of WALRUS BILENKY. The anticipation behind this launch is understandable, considering the fire power in the roster. There will undoubtedly be a significant portion of media coverage surrounding the team as the season kicks off.

Please follow these naming standards when referring to the team in the media:

 (Given last years drama, WALRUS BILENKY riders will adhere to a strict seafood diet, free of all beef products.)

The team name is WALRUS BILENKY Please do not insert the word “Team” before WALRUS BILENKY, in writing or conversation, as that is not part of the official name.
Please do not hyphenate WALRUS BILENKY.

(What would I have done? Interesting question, I'll tell you what I wouldn't have done, I wouldn't have dropped my chain.)

In written communication, WALRUS BILENKY must be set in all caps.
In spoken communication, please use the appropriate pronunciation: WAL ah ROOOOSE BUY-LINK-E
INCORRECT: The new Team WALRUS BILENKY includes…
CORRECT: The new WALRUS BILENKY team includes…
INCORRECT: Walrus-Bilenky was presented to the media…
CORRECT: WALRUS BILENKY was presented to the media…
INCORRECT: Bilenky announces sponsorship of Team WALRUS BILENKY…
CORRECT: Bilenky announces co-title sponsorship of WALRUS BILENKY…
Thanks for your help in establishing the proper team name standards. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Mythbusters, Bilenky style

As I sit in Ray's wonderfully warm office (the paint booth is too cold to paint in and Ray isn't in today) I think it is time to debunk some common myths about BCW. Random people ask me some surprising things before asking for free paint jobs, and I am going to set the record straight. (Also for the record, the only way to get a free paint job is to win an alleycat where we offer one as a prize. So polish up your racing legs.)

Anyway, some myths and misconceptions about BCW:

Everyone here has a beard.
Demonstrably untrue. Even if Simon, Bob, Kasy, Ray, Brian, Stephen and occasionally Weller try to convince you otherwise, Carl and I definitely can't grow beards.
Here is proof. We have sweet hats, though. 

There are no clocks, only calendars.
We totally do have a clock. It works, too. And every computer has a clock, and sometimes they agree with each other.
There is only one calendar, and it's only slightly out of date: Jan-Feb 2006 isn't too bad!
But we probably should update our computers, since they make sense to a Brontosaurus.

Framebuilders are intense, wild eyed folks who hunch over their lugs mumbling, "Doesn't line up! Doesn't line up!"
Maybe some are, but here you are more likely to see Simon charging after Carl, brandishing a wire brush because Carl sneaked up on Simon and said 'Boo'. Or perhaps a Smiths song will come on, and we will all start singing along in various questionable pitches. Not that we don't take bicycle creation seriously, but we don't see why it shouldn't be fun.

Everyone is really hardcore and rides to work every day through rain, snow, heat, cold, illness, etc.
Bob pointed out that only he and Kasy do that. By extension, the rest of us are wusses. Ok, Bob. You enjoy the snow, I will be busily cursing the bogged down SEPTA train, BUT I will be warm and dry. Even trade? I think so.
You can have it, Kasy!

We listen exclusively to obscure underground punk music/super snooty classical/blues/death metal/80's pop/etc.
Hardly. We listen to all sorts of music, as provided by one venue: BBC, 6 Music. Whose bright idea was it to put Simon nearest the music laptop....?

Stephen Bilenky brazes in his bare feet.
Wait, that's not a myth. He totally does.

In other feet news, Simon underwent surgery to remove his big toe yesterday. Everyone waft good karma at him. The shop has been way too quiet lately. We're going to have a goldsprints event for him, date TBA soon. The prize will be a golden toe (not his, though.)

Enjoy the snow and ride safe but not too slowly.


P.S. In case you were wondering what our astrological signs and dating statuses were, the website has been updated. Because you totally were, right?

P.P.S. As soon as I posted this, the clock died. Now we have to rely on that calendar...